NEW SEASON; NEW NAME; NEW ATTITUDE
Prestige Worldwide wins BIG
Prestige Worldwide Softball Newsletter Edition 3.1
The weather had changed and Matt Bailey woke up and gazed out the window to see the sunshine. At the same time they notice skirt season had began. “Skirt Season!?” shouted Matt Bailey, “That means it’s softball time.” Matt opened that window and exclaimed to the Hyde Park Square, “WE ARE PRETISGE WORLDWIDE!!!” Wildcat’s owner ironically was stalking one of those skirts down Hyde Park Square from which he recognize from a picture on facebook. At the moment Matt Bailey’s claim echoed around Hyde Park Square, the Wildcat’s owner insisted on changing the name of his team to . . . yes . . . Prestige Worldwide. Right then, a dynasty may have been formed.
Winter meetings were held and name change became official. Ownership and Board of Directors also did not want to have the same result of 2008 if they were to begin the P-DUB dynasty the right way. Change was needed. And Obama just was not doing enough for this team. Players were dropped, traded, and called up from the Farms:
Players to leave –
Chad Stockman - was traded to Kansas City Double Whoppers for a player to be discussed below and last we heard he was leading the league in most beers drank in 7 innings. P-Dub GM is keeping close eye on his performance in case of his return in future years.
Matt Munson – was released without reason, but it has been reported that he was seen sitting on a bucket in front of Great American Ballpark with a sign “Will work for food.” Later that same night he was found in line at the Drop Inn Center.
James Statler – James was on the official 2009 roster but at the last moment he was demoted due to a big trade the management made that involved Chad Stockman. Due to his demotion he retaliated and left the team on bad terms. It has been reported the two have reconciled and could be used as a sub if injury or if the swine flu broke out on the team.
Scott Goldschmidt - The pitcher of the Wildcats last year. Has dissapeared. Rumor has it he grew a beard and bombed his girlfriends house was arrested by the Feds and is serving his time in Guantanomo Bay
Added Players – The Rookies
James Sims – James made his Wildcat debut in 2007 for two games. Management believed this kid the most irrational ball player and let him go. James was so depressed he got hooked on drugs, sex, and alcohol in 2008. He tried to make comeback with another local team Kansas City Double Whoppers, but it just was not working out between him and the organization. A trade was demanded by Sims. Ironically P-Dub’s GM wanted Sims back and a trade was made and the Whoppers got Chad Stockman in exchange... P-Dub organization helped Sims get back on his feet and he is expected to be the everyday third baseman.
Gabriel Bailey – Gab is the brother of current LF Matt Bailey. Gab tried out every year for the team but never could make it through tryout due to hammiest. More on him as he is the player profile this week.
Jeff Whitehouse – John actually stumbled his way on the team by accident. He took so many shot with team members at a local bar that the team though he was “cute.” P-Dub players asked him if he wanted to cheerlead for the team with fellow wife of Mark Ledonne,
Ashley ‘Hoots” Ledonne. He agreed. Well to say the least the team felt bad he had listen to Ashley’s jaw move every two seconds that they asked him to play 1B. The rest is history and he is now on the official roster.
Brian Manning - Brian was picked up off waivers after begging that he wanted to be part of the tradition. He tasted what it’s like to be on Prestige Worldwide in 2008 for two games. He made a presentation to the Board saying, “I love softball, I love this team, the tradition, and I will do whatever it takes to play on this team in ‘09.” The Board was already going to put him on the team, but to amuse themselves they tied him up and hung him upside down from a tree and made him eat hotdogs hanging from a rope for 15 minutes. Each hot dog was simmered in cow poop. Asked later was it worth it, he replied, “Anything to be part of Prestige Worldwide.”
GAME 1
Prestige Worldwide’s roster may have changed but their pregame rituals of being late and drama seem to not. Hangovers were still usual and beer was drunk before the flip of the coin.
Prestige Worldwide was to play one of top teams from last year that had run ruled them twice. 1st game had some low expectations.
Well, P-Dub won the coin toss and chose to be the Home team, but one problem arised. The pitcher Mike Lemmink was no where to be found. And as the ump yelled Play Ball Mike came printing in. It seemed as if his fame from last years escapades (jumping the catcher) had made him famous and the women, alcohol, and drugs were going to make a negative impact on the team. Just like Babe Ruth did for years Mike came through clutch to pitch a great game. Top of the fist started off a little shaky with an error in RF by Matt Ziegler, but manage to escape by only giving up 1 run.
In the middle of the 1st the drama occurred. Matt Ziegler’s prized pit bull lived up to his reputation and tried to murder the ump and any other moving object within in his eyesight. King “the Pit Bull” was then slammed by Matt and taken to a holding cell for the night.
Season started off swell. Biegler and Shelton each got a hit and P-Dub put up 3 runs.
Marty Huber on the other hand began the season rough with his first career strikeout and along with that he let his lack of smartness get in the way when the ump told him that the bat was illegal because it had a hole in it. Yup, Marty looked for the whole and argued that it was not illegal. The ump just fooled Marty. And when it couldn’t get worse for him Marty could not make contact to save his life, by going up to the bat in bottom of third to manage to whiff at the fist pitch. Please note he did single in that at bat.
Besides that PW manage to surprise themselves to a run ruled VICTORY 15-4. Player of the game 1 went to Matt “T-Bone” Bailey who went 3-3 with 3 Runs, triple, and home run. Also players to note were MVP Ryan “Boats N Hoes” Shelton went 3-3 with 3 runs and a double.
Final Score was 15-4 in 5 innings Prestige Worldwide (1-0)
GAME 2
PW’s expectations in game 2 were totally opposite than Game 1. PW was cocky and confident. They looked across the bench and saw the Rats of Indiana were there opponent. The shortstop played in jean shorts down to his ankle, white beater and his flat bill white cap cocked sideways.
Short Stop for the Rats of Indiana
For the rest of the team, they gazed into the corn fields and forgot they were playing a game of “stick ball.”
First inning went quick as the only spot they could hit it was on the ground to the left side of the field. Top of the fist went quick with PW giving up 0 runs. In the bottom of the fist PW batted 12 and scored 6 runs.
Top of 2nd went just as quick as the 1st where 3B James Sims and SS Marty Huber did most of the work. Mike Lemmink manages to even record his first strikeout of 2009 and he rudely gave a fist pump after that...
Bottom of 2nd had to be a record inning for PW organization. They scored 14 runs and batted 17 batters. Everybody 1-9 batted well. Newcomer Jeff Whitehouse was still a little hung-over did not manage to get a hit the entire night. After 2 innings it was 20-0. That is not a typo.
PW completed the shut out and ended the game in the Top of 3rd. The game ended by doosh bag # 1 of the Rats of Indiana trying to score on missed played throw by James Sims to Marty at 3rd. Mike Lemmink manage to get the ball and throw it to Mark Ledonne to tag him out and end the game. Game was over and PW’s batting practice game was over.
Player of the game 2 went to Scott Biegler who went 3-3, a double, and 3 runs; Matt Bailey also continued his tear of night going 3-3, triple, and 3 runs. For the night Matt Bailey went 6-6 and scored 4 times.
Prestige Worldwide (2-0)
Stat of the night – Prestige worldwide 35; Opponents 4
FAN OF THE NIGHT – Goes to Gretchen Schultz; who has been a loyal fan of the organization for two years and is soon to be named team doctor.
PLAYER PROFILE
GABRIEL BAILEY
JOB: I sell stuff; I like to sell stuff because selling stuff makes money. If I sell stuff I make more money to pay for my hammy injuries
College: Capital U – I played football there and was a running back until I hurt my hammy, but then I got better and played football and then I hurt my hammy again.
Most outrageous moment of the weekend: My dog Rudy took it in the butt and liked it. WTF.
Relationship Status: happily married to Jenna and Rudy
Greatest moment in life: my brother moving into my place with my wife, Rudy, and me
Occupation: I told you I sell stuff, geez
Hobbies: Selling stuff and rehabbing from hammy injuries. I guess I am getting old huh with all these hammy injuries.
Greatest Asset to the team: my speed and persona. I am an all around player as long as I don’t pull that damn hammy.
Best Advice to give to a kid: Don’t pull a hammy.
GABE BAILEY STATS for the season (2 Games)--- 3-5 scoring; 3 Runs Scored
